Wednesday March 26, 2008; International Friendly

France 1 England 0

England: James, Brown (Johnson 63), Ferdinand, Terry (Lescott 46), Ashley Cole, Beckham (Bentley 63), Hargreaves, Barry, Joe Cole (Downing 46), Gerrard (Crouch 46), Rooney (Owen 46).

Now let me tell you something straight away, I don't actually want to write this match report. There'll be loads of reports for you to read tomorrow morning in all the papers but the blokes who have wrote them will have been paid good money for doing so.

I am involved with this website because I'm an England fan and I do it because I enjoy it. Having to watch this game was bad enough. Now having to write about it is something approaching purgatory.

You could argue that England were not that bad. They passed to each other a few times and generally kept the French attack at arms length but by the end of the game you wondered whether there had been any point to the game whatsoever.

I know this was only a friendly but surely Capello wants to impose some sort of standards for his team. Surely he wants to see some sort of spark from his players and they, in turn, want to impress their new manager with examples of their quality.

Or perhaps not.

To be generous you could say England were going through the motions. It is upsetting to think that any England team would just go through the motions, however.

If they were not just going through the motions, though, the only reasonable conclusion to come to is that we are just a depressingly mediocre side.

The most important aspect of the night seemed to be David Beckham winning his 100th cap. Both sets of fans gave him an excellent ovation but the centurion was unable to make a serious impact on the big occasion. He was not alone.

Beckham sprayed a few dangerous looking passes around and whipped in a couple of inviting centres but there was no real substance to his performance.

In fact the game seemed somehow appropriate in marking his landmark achievement. Beckham now plays in a completely sub-standard league and seems to be more of a marketing tool than a footballer. He is mainly seen swanning around in friendly games and this looked more like a money spinning friendly/testimonial fixture rather than a proper international game.

Beckham sent a dangerous ball in early on but Thuram lunged in front of Rooney to head behind for a corner while at the other end Anelka headed wide when well placed from a Ribery free kick.

For a fleeting moment it looked as though Beckham might actually crown his big night with a goal when he lunged in at a cross from Ashley Cole but the keeper managed a vital touch to deflect the ball to safety.

England enjoyed their best spell midway through the first half as they managed to retain possession and work one or two reasonable positions.

Gerrard headed over from a decent Wes Brown centre before flinging himself forward to meet a header back across goal from captain Ferdinand. Again his header was too high, however.

France emerged from this spell of English promise to take the lead. Anelka was sent through the England defence, James came out to block but was too late and only succeeded in sending the forward sprawling dramatically.

Has David James ever saved a penalty? He certainly didn't save this one, diving the wrong way as Ribery rolled the ball home.

England tried to retaliate and Rooney got in a header from Barry's centre which caused the French keeper a moments' discomfort but England went in at the break behind having never really threatened a goal.

Half Time: France 1 England 0

Capello made four changes at the break with Johnson, Downing, Crouch and Owen replacing four better players. Not surprisingly England's performance did not improve.

England's one hint of a second half chance came early when Beckham's corner was perfect for Crouch but the towering forward once again displayed his remarkable lack of heading ability with an effort that was miles too high.

Crouch also spoiled a promising situation when Downing got the ball into him in a yard of space on the edge of the box. An embarrassing lack of control ensured that there was never any danger to the French goal, however.

The last half hour saw the England performance peter out to basically nothing while France threatened sporadically when they could be bothered rousing themselves to come forward.

Anelka lashed a shot just over from a narrow angle, which James appeared to get a fingertip to, then Malouda put his shot a yard wide from a good position on the edge of the box.

Barry produced a superb ball over the top of the French defence but Downing was completely unable to take the ball in his stride running into the area and the keeper collected.

Crouch then plopped a sorry volley way over the bar from 25 yards after Owen had managed one of his few touches to nod the ball down.

Neither side now looked particularly dangerous but France carried what threat there was. Anelka sent a snap shot miles wide before a good move ended with Ribery dragging his shot well off target.

Ashley Cole wasted a couple of decent positions with woeful crosses while James produced an easy save from another shot by Ribery.

The last decent chance fell to the French substitute Cisse who ran at Cole after an England corner had been cleared but ended up poking a harmless shot into the side netting.

The last thing I remember about the game was Michael Owen playing the worst pass in the history of football which rolled into touch about forty yards from the nearest Englishman and then the blessed relief of the final whistle.

I know we have come to expect little from friendlies and that it is impossible to judge Capello's England on the strength of them but surely these games are vitally important in forging some sort of teamwork and confidence before the serious stuff starts again, for us, in the autumn.

This just felt like a waste of everyones' time.

Full Time: France 1 England 0

England: James 3, Brown 3 (Johnson 3), Ferdinand 3, Terry 3 (Lescott 3), Ashley Cole 3, Beckham 3 (Bentley 3), Hargreaves 1, Barry 3, Joe Cole 3 (Downing 3), Gerrard 3 (Crouch 1), Rooney 3 (Owen 1).

Star Player: Michael Carrick?